I have been debating for sometime now if I should write about celibacy. I am not one to advise or to manipulate someone to choose celibacy because, God calls for us to save ourselves for marriage. However, I figured I would share a part of myself with you all today.
First, celibacy means:
- abstention from sexual relations.
- abstention by vow from marriage.
- the state of being unmarried.
Before deciding to practice celibacy, you should determine why you are doing so. I know for me, one of the reasons why I decided to become celibate was because of my spiritual beliefs. If that is your only reason for why you have decided to become celibate, that is great!
I remember reading the “Wait”, by Devon Franklin and Megan Good (great book by the way), and when I fist purchased the book, I was not serious at the time about practicing a celibate lifestyle. I knew I wanted to, but doubted that I had the strength to.
It was after I had reached a dark place in my life and after having a failed relationship, that I made my mind up about becoming celibate. I no longer wanted to give a part of myself to someone who was not deserving of all that I had to offer. I no longer wanted to feel empty when I finished sharing my most treasured possession with someone. I no longer wanted to feel unconnected with God. I wanted to have the best God had for me. I wanted to do right by God…by myself…by my body. I no longer just wanted relations with someone, but I wanted a deeper level of commitment…a bond between man and wife…a bond where we choose to dedicate our lives and love to one another.
I decided to read the entire book.
I decided to pray.
I decided to stop making excuses.
I made up my mind.
I became celibate for me.
Yes, I am following God’s plan for us to save ourselves for marriage. However, that was not the only reason why I decided to take on this journey. Practicing celibacy has helped with so many other areas in my life. I actually have been learning to date without the pressure of it eventually leading to sex or denying them for that matter. I have develop a sense for guys who are just after one thing. I have developed a sense of my worth and what I will and can bring to the table when I am in a committed relationship that is not based on sex (I am in a relationship by the way, but that is a story for another time).
Deciding to become celibate was the best decision I have made in a very long time.
Is it easy? No. I would be lying if I said it was a walk in the park. However, with a made up mind and the strength from God, I am able to do it. I am able to express myself to my boyfriend in other ways than sex. I am able to understand if what I am feeling for him is real or if it is fake. I am allowing myself to actually get to know who he is as an individual.
Being celibate is a great thing to practice, in my opinion anyway.
I have vowed celibacy until my wedding day and I am okay with that. Others may tease you or say that being in a relationship with someone without sex is crazy. Well, that is there opinion, and you can tell them that with them having sex in all of their failed relationships, where has that gotten them? And how has that impacted their life? It’s not for others to understand why you are embarking on this journey. It for you to understand why you are going down this path.
Always remember to pray for strength and remember why you started. It gets easier with time.
***Spoiler Alert! I will have more post about this, so let me know what you want to talk about or the challenges you face, or just your opinions about celibacy in general.
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