Note to Self

           Dear self,

My have you grown within the last past months…really years. I remember it like it was yesterday. You graduated college with endless opportunities waiting for you and there was a world awaiting for you to explore it. You vowed to  never settle for less in life and to always love yourself. Well, you did just that. You settled and you did not truly love yourself. You became prettified with fear of being alone and not being whom others wanted you to be…become. You lost yourself. Baby girl, you lost yourself.  You’ve become accustomed to a way of living of pleasing everyone but yourself. You have lost your voice…your strength…yourself.  You hide behind the wall you have built to prevent people from entering your heart. However, that very wall you built has stopped you from being you. You allow the opinions of others to dictate how you feel about yourself…how your life should be lived…what you should be doing…who you should be with or not be with.

Baby girl, how did you get here? How can you be in a world with full of people and still feel alone?  Why do you hate yourself? Why do you allow boys to treat you like trash and not like the queen you are? Why do you care what others say and or think about you? Why are you not allowing your light to shine bright? So many questions to why you are living a limited life, and yet you cannot seem to find the answers… until now.

It is now 2016, and you are finally living for you. It took several disappointments and two heartbreaks for you to appreciate the woman..queen you are. It took for God to make you come face to face with all of the pain that you kept deep within side of you. He had to break your heart. They had to not support you. They had to talk about you. You had to be alone. You had to hit rock bottom.Without these steps taking place, you would not be able to be who you truly are. You are a queen. You are a woman of God. You are amazingly flawed. You’re able to finally love the right man. You’re finally able to blossom into that beautiful flower. You’re finally able to let the world see the real you. In all honesty baby girl, I don’t know why it took you so long. However, I am happy you are ready.

Life is a journey.  The best part about life is that you get to live it the way you want, and not how anyone else wants you to live it. As long as you are pleasing God, nothing else matters. Now, get out into the world and explore all of its beauty. You only get one life to live baby girl, so make it count!

Love yours truly,


Chelsea S. Thomas

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