Can you be single and in a relationship?

I know I am not the only who had given their all when it came to a relationship. You probably felt like you had nothing after it ended.  I have been on this journey of self discovery for a while now, and I am sure I will be on this journey for the remainder of my life. However, I have learned a few things recently, and I would like to share that with you today.

I often lost myself when being in a committed relationship. When it ended I was angry. I was angry because I gave my all and I played into this false reality of a future with someone, that I put aside my wants and what made me happy to make my mate happy. In the end, I was left with a broken heart and confusion as to what I wanted out of life.

I made a vow. I vowed to never lose myself at the expense of a relationship. I vowed to never lose myself at the expense of the life challenges. I vowed to take full control of my life and what makes me happy.

As you know, I am in a committed relationship. I love my boyfriend dearly and we are working to build something great. However, I was detrimental to my relationship. I started focusing completely on him and our future that I forgot about me. Although, I pray we work, I do not know what the future holds. I have vowed to be okay with me whether or not we work. By becoming okay with me and the life I would like to create, I had to take a few steps back.

If you’re wondering how to remain single while being in a committed relationship, continue reading below.

  1. Do the same things you did while you were single: When you were single, you focused on what made you happy. You either started focusing on your health, fitness, and or career goals. You still do all of those things while being in a committed relationship. You just do not disrespect your relationship. Like, dating other people or cheating.
  2. Take time out for you: We can become obsessive with spending everyday with our mate. However, there is a such things as spending too much time with someone. Learn to be okay with being by yourself. Let your mate miss you sometimes.
  3. Focus on building yourself up: No relationship is perfect. We all go through things within our relationships. However, when you focus on building up yourself, you will not need anyone else to do it. For an example, say you got a new client or a promotion at work, and you tell your mate about it. If they do not react in the way that you would like them to, than you would be okay with that. Reason being, is because you have learned to be your own cheerleader.
  4. Learn to love you: When you learn the value of loving yourself and how to love yourself, you will attract the right kind of love in return. You will not tolerate someone within your space that does not love you in the way that you deserve. If your relationship ended for whatever reason, you would be okay. Yes, you would be hurt by it. However, you would not become angered by it.
  5. Crush your goals: Whatever goals you have for yourself, do not let them stop because you are in a committed relationship. You’ll be a much happier person when you are knocking out your personal goals and your relationship will overall be a lot healthier.

Those are some starter tips on how to remain single while being in a committed relationship. Again, no relationship is perfect. However, you do not want to lose yourself in the midst of your relationship. If your relationship ended for whatever reasons( I pray that it does not), you will be okay. You will be able to continue to move forward without having to feel like you’ve lost so much.

I want to know what you think about remaining single while being in a committed relationship. Leave your comments below!




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s