Nobody Asked You!

I have always been protective of women who have conceived a child outside of marriage or who are single mothers, especially black women. Obviously, I am black and of course I’d be more protective, right? That’s not entirely true though, and I am going to explain why. We live in a world that is constantly putting so much more pressure on women of color and bashing them for doing the same thing other races do. Now, this post is not meant to play the race card. Although, race plays a huge factor in this world. I am writing this post for all the mothers out there who are single mothers or mothers in general.

When people see me and notice that I am pregnant, they automatically look to my left hand. When they notice I am not married, they give me this look as if they are disappointed or they feel bad for me. I typically roll my eyes and keep it moving. When I scroll through social media, I see a lot of posts bashing women, especially black women for having a child outside of marriage. Those post piss me off and sometimes I confront those people who made such ridiculous statements.

I am writing this post today to let those who feel their “opinions” on someone else’s life is valid, that NOBODY ASKED YOU! 

Obviously, having a healthy two parent household is ideal for any child. However, life doesn’t always work out that way. My journey has taught me that it is better to raise my daughter as a single parent, than to raise her up in an unhealthy environment.

People need to realize just because a woman is having a child, doesn’t mean her life holds less value. God already knew that persons path before they were born. He already knew this person was going to be a single parent. However, he loves them anyway. Women become single parents for multiple reasons and it’s not okay for people to put them down for that. Also, let’s be real here. If you’re sexual active, it’s only a matter of time before you are blessed with a bundle of joy.

I was always taught, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”. I know, I cannot control what others do or say, but I can encourage another woman to stay strong. When you hear negative things about your life and your decisions, I’m here to tell you to ignore it. Your future is just as bright as anyone else’s. Your child doesn’t take from you, but they add so much more to your life. 

Remember, God doesn’t give you anything you cannot handle.

Keep pushing.

Keep living.

And tune out the negativity.

Until next time, Xoxo

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